I started taking swing dance lessons in the fall. Dancing is something I've always wanted to do, but I've never had a willing partner. I believe my future Boaz will dance with me, so I figured I had better learn how to do it. And I have discovered that it satisfies me on so many levels. Not only is it really fun and great exercise which produces joy endorphins, but I am making new friends and learning a lot about myself.
The instructors, Mike and Shawna, have been so warm and welcoming...and they have noticed my desire to really learn and helped me as I've struggled. My biggest issue is in allowing someone else to lead me. I try to read my lead's mind and "help" him which ends up in me stepping on toes or getting completely off beat. Mike danced the Lindy Hop with me last week. I just couldn't get it. I was so focused on counting and trying to get my feet just right that I just ended up as a big ball of nerves. Shawna saw how tense I was and got me to loosen up. Then I just closed my eyes and relaxed and let Mike swing me round and round.
During last night's lesson, Shawna worked with me on how to take cues from my lead so I can support him instead of interfere with his plans. My left hand rests on his shoulder, not too tight - no death grip! - but enough for us to be connected and for him to able to lead me where he wants me to go with a simple touch. She said that once I get the hang of it, the leads will be so grateful because they will be able to do so many more cool moves with me because they know I can follow their lead. I don't have to help him, I just need to get in sync with him and let him twirl me around and have fun!
So many levels of life lessons here. I love thinking about my life as a dance with God as my partner. He has me in His grip and He will gently lead me if I stay connected to Him and feel the subtle nuances of His touch. The more I struggle to try to "help" Him, the more frustrated I get and we have to start again...and 5,6,5,6,7,8... Oh, to let go and let Him swing me round!
I have had to be so strong for so long, it is difficult for me to relax and entrust myself to someone else. I realize I've just got to loosen up and enjoy the journey. Every time I dance, I laugh a lot because of the fumbles and I am always surprised I didn't fall out on the floor! I'm gonna make mistakes, but the key is to keep going and growing, keep things lighthearted and not take myself too seriously.
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