Let Down Your Hair

This post will make little to no sense if you've never seen Tangled.

And if you've never seen Tangled, well, shame on you!

 It is my favorite Disney movie of all time.

I've been doing some introspection and it occurred to me that I have a lot in common with Rapunzel even though I don't have her flowing golden hair. I do resemble this version of her, though:

Rapunzel was trapped in a tower waiting for her life to begin. She spent her days in the tower as joyfully and as productively as she could, but she always knew there was more to the world than what she was experiencing. She chose to stay confined to meet the needs of someone she loved and someone that she believed loved her. Her potential and her destiny was put on hold for the sake of another's selfish ambition.

I have felt trapped for a very long time. I have been confined to a life that I have known was not exceptional for far longer than I wanted, but I stayed because of the commitment I made to love.

In my heart I've been waiting for my life to begin...and here I am at 40 years old, gazing out the window and wondering what else is out there.

I went through a period of illness a couple of years ago and had a hard time dealing with the residual setbacks. I sought counsel as to how to keep my life in perspective. I will never forget a little nugget of truth I gleaned from my counselor during that time. She said I was waiting until I felt like my old self before I started allowing myself to live again. Then, in kindness and in truth she said,

"you will never be the same person you were before - there is no reset button".

In other words, start living again, no matter how rotten or off kilter you feel.

I'm tired of waiting for my life to begin. My days get excruciatingly long waiting for some big event that is going to propel me forward. Jesus and I had a talk about this very thing this morning. I'm praying expectantly for the Lord to move and act on my behalf. I'm waiting (sometimes patiently, sometimes not so much) and I'm seeking His face, knowing He knows the desires of my heart. I know great things are ahead....but when is ahead? That Still Small Voice assured me that today is the day He has made and I should rejoice and be glad in it. My life is not going to magically be sunshine and roses, but every day grows sweeter, every day I get stronger as I lean into Him; every step I take is abundant life. Every morning that I choose to let my hair down and climb out of that tower is a life of adventure and who knows where that adventure will lead.

My heart has been wounded and I am understandably guarded, so don't mind the skillet.

Sometimes I may get spooked on my journey and feel the need to protect myself.

I am a daughter of the King and I know that He has great things in store for me. There are risks that I will have to take, there will be steps of faith as I learn to trust God and others. There will be some downright scary moments, moments of decision, moments of sacrifice. But in the end, it will be worth it, because my story will not be about a girl who stayed in a tower where it was "safe", it'll be about walking in the redemptive beauty of freedom and courage.

And that guy in the background? That's Flynn Rider.

He's my Other, my "Boaz" that I've been praying for and about for the last nine months.

God has whispered in my ear that I haven't experienced the love of my life yet.

So, I'm looking forward to meeting him somewhere along the way.

And when I do, I hope he's ready for an adventure himself.