Reckless Love of God

I've been struggling. Its embarrassing to admit it even though I know we all do it. I hate it when I am weak, when I am so weary that the lies of the evil one begin to sound like truth. Thanks be to God for placing friends in my life that are not afraid to speak words of truth over me and pray for me. Thanks be to the Holy Spirit that leads me gently into His presence when I just want to curl up in my bed and cry or run away from home.

If you ever been rejected or deserted by someone you love, you may be able to relate to how I've been feeling. Just as you begin to feel like you've healed, something happens that irritates the wound. And that's when the evil one sees a chance to pounce.  The accuser wants me to believe that I will be forever alone, that I am unloved and unlovable, undesirable, damaged goods, too much trouble, worthless and unworthy of pursuit. These are all lies, deep down I know it, but in the silence of loneliness, these lies can be very loud.

Instead of running into the arms of the One who promises that He will never leave me or forsake me, I've wrestled with Him questioning His love. Thanks be to God that He is forever faithful and will not let me go no matter how hard I fight Him. He will not let me go.

Over the last several weeks I've had to make myself go to church. All this wrestling has left me drained and grouchy. I've been on the outs with God and really haven't wanted to spend time with Him, but the Spirit wouldn't leave me alone and I had to go. Arms crossed, heels dug in...I will be here, but I will not be moved. Uh, wrong.  I listened to the words of this song as the congregation sang and tears streamed down my face.

Before I spoke a word

You were singing over me

You have been so, so

Good to me

Before I took a breath

You breathed Your life in me

You have been so, so

Kind to me

Oh the overwhelming,

Never-ending, reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down,

Fights 'til I'm found

Leaves the ninety-nine

I couldn't earn it

I don't deserve it

Still You give yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming,

Never-ending, reckless love of God

When I was Your foe,

Still Your love fought for me

You have been so, so

Good to me

When I felt no worth

You paid it all for me

You have been so, so

Kind to me

Oh the overwhelming,

Never-ending, reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down,

Fights 'til I'm found

Leaves the ninety-nine

I couldn't earn it

I don't deserve it

Still You give yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming,

Never-ending, reckless love of God

There's no shadow You won't light up

Mountain You won't climb up

Coming after me

There's no wall You won't kick down

No lie You won't tear down 

Coming after me

He not only loves me with an unconditional, everlasting love but He PURSUES a relationship with me. The King of all creation desires a relationship with me. There is nothing that will stand in His way...He is crazy about me just the way I am. And the way He loves me is perfect, its exactly what I need. 

The first time I heard this song was four weeks ago. It has been sung at every Sunday service since. I laughed this morning as it began again ... Ok, Lord, I get it. I hear You. Thank you for being so in love with me. Thank You for Your relentless love that will not break my heart, won't give up, won't walk out on me.  What can I say, what can I do, but offer my heart, oh God, completely to You.